Apa was not convinced by all this. As Onler stood up to leave, my father coldly told him not to send his parents across for any negotiations. Anu was very upset with Apa's behaviour, and so was I. But I knew better than to expect anything else of him. Anu and I walked a short distance with Onler, who pleaded with her once again to understand his true intentions. He wanted to be by my side, especially because I was often travelling by bus or train and it could be unsafe for a young girl. ‘What if someone forcibly abducts her and marries her?' he asked. Anu was supportive and asked him to send his parents to our house for the ‘talk'. She promised that she would do her best to convince Apa. Her kind words lifted his spirits as he made his way back to his own village.
The traditional manner in which a boy's family asks for a girl's hand in marriage is by boiling tea in the girl's house This is done thrice before the date of the wedding is finalized. The first time Onler's parents came, my maternal uncle welcomed them warmly. The first boiling-tea session is usually a hush-hush affair, to be done only by two or three members of the boy's family – usually only the parents. If the girl's parents accept the proposal, they drink the tea. When Onler's father came to my house with a few family members, Apa did not even allow them to enter the house.
Apa's childish behaviour embarrassed, upset and angered me. I left home and went to a friend's place. My parents searched all over, but couldn't find me. They became frantic. Anu even called Onler to enquire. He was so worried that he borrowed a scooter and rushed to Moirang. Unable to enter my house, he sent someone to ask if I had returned. By then I had. He then went back to Imphal, where his sister lives.
