Hyderabad, Sept 19: Badminton player Jwala Gutta is shattered over the loss of Azharuddin's son Ayazuddin in a motorbike crash, and reveals that Ayaz had promised her not to speed.
In an interview to Times of India from China, where she is playing the Chinese Masters Badminton, Jwala Gutta broke down as she spoke about Ayazuddin.
A text message that she sent out after winning the mixed doubles quarter finals read, "I dedicate this win to my dear friend Ayaz who we lost today".
Jwala says she is heartbroken because Ayaz had made her a promise one that he could not keep.
"The superbike was bought in January. When you buy a machine like this, you obviously have to keep it in control. So when he got the bike, I was very worried.
"I even asked him to make me a promise that he would be safe,he promised me in February that he wouldnt ride the bike too fast.... his words are still ringing in my ears."
A tearful Jwala adds, "Ayaz loved bikes... you know how boys are, right. He never wanted a car, he always wanted a nice bike and he went ahead and got it..."
Despite her sport schedule in China, Jwala had been continuously checking on Ayaz the whole of last week.
"I kept talking to Abbas (Asaduddin, Azharuddin's elder son) and my sister Insi about every little detail.
"I spoke to Naureen (Ayaz's mother) as well. After he passed away, Abbas had passed on the phone to Naureen and I had a word with her. She was completely broken.
" I didn't, however, have the guts to speak to Azhar in a situation like this I just couldnt speak to him", she says brokenly..
Between sobs, Jwala adds, "I am completely shattered. I don't know what to say or how to react."
The shuttler says "she has been feeling very helpless because the accident occurred just a day after she left Hyderabad for the super series in China, leaving her no way of being there with the bereaved family.
"I feel so helpless that I couldnt be there. I left on Saturday. I was in China when Abbas called me about the accident. I was shocked and felt completely helpless.
"I wanted to rush back to Hyderabad but I couldn't as I have two doubles partners here (mixed doubles and womens doubles).I cant leave them", she adds.
"I am not here (in China) I am there . My mind and heart is there. I am just physically present here.
"I have only been thinking about Ayaz since I first heard the news and that day (the day he died) I was so miserable I broke down", she adds.
In fact, she admits that it has been difficult for her to focus on her game.
"I made so many errors in my match because I couldnt get Ayaz out of my head.
"Nobody expected anything of this sort would ever happen to him. It is so sad! I tried to play my game, but all I could see in front of me was Ayaz his face", Jwala broke into tears as she spoke.
Jwala has been in the news in the recent past for her association with Azhar and his family.
"I am (she still can't say was ) very close to Ayaz. I met him every single day. You know, he's the kind of person who keeps things to himself. I mean he is very shy and had only select friends.I was the closest to him."
Jwala also expresses her shock over reports that Ayaz, who was riding a superbike Suzuki GSX R 1000, was reportedly speed racing with his cousin Ajmal-ur-Rahman riding pillion.
"Ayaz is not the kind of person to speed race.I don't think he was doing anything of that sort even the day he met with an accident. He was a very sorted person."
All that Jwala is waiting for is to return to Hyderabad so that she can meet Azhar's family.
