Benching dating is a modern dating term that refers to someone keeping a potential romantic partner on hold, or 'on the bench,' while they explore other options. It's similar to the sports concept of benching a player, where the person is not actively engaged in the main action but is kept around just in case. In the context of dating, someone who is benching you maintains minimal contact to keep you interested but never fully commits to a relationship. This behaviour can be confusing and emotionally draining for the person being benched.
5 Warning Signs You're Being 'Benched'
- Inconsistent Communication: If the person you're interested in sends sporadic messages, disappears for days or weeks, and then reappears with little explanation, it’s a red flag. This inconsistency often indicates they are not prioritising you and are possibly keeping you as a backup option.
- Vague Future Plans: When you try to make concrete plans to meet up, they are always vague or non-committal. They might say things like "Let's see how the week goes" or "I’ll let you know," but never actually follow through. This suggests they are keeping their options open.
- Limited Availability: They often claim to be too busy with work, family, or other commitments, making it hard to schedule time together. While everyone has a busy life, a consistent pattern of unavailability can indicate they are not as interested in making time for you.
- No Progression in the Relationship: Despite spending time together, the relationship doesn’t seem to be moving forward. They avoid discussions about the future, refuse to define the relationship, and keep things at a casual level. This stagnation can be a sign they are not planning to take things further.
- Attention When It’s Convenient: You notice that they only reach out when it’s convenient for them, often late at night or when they have no other plans. This behaviour suggests you are a fallback option rather than a priority in their life.
Being benched can be frustrating and can impact your self-esteem. If you recognise these signs in your current dating situation, it might be time to have an honest conversation with the person or consider moving on to someone who values and prioritises you. Remember, you deserve someone fully committed and excited to be with you.
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