If your partner argues over little things, gets defensive, or refuses to compromise, among other traits that leave you feeling frustrated and confused — it very well may mean they are emotionally immature. According to Dr Ishina Choudhary, Counseling Psychologist "Emotional immaturity can reflect a lack of depth and understanding about one’s own emotions, an inability to communicate and process things related to the relationship, as well as lack of empathy and ability to understand your partner’s emotional experiences."
It's tempting to dismiss bad relationship habits like these as "quirky” or vaguely annoying, but the truth is they take a serious toll on your relationship. "Oftentimes these partners have a 'me' factor over a 'we' factor, so they can come off as selfish or unable to take your feelings into account.”
“When there’s conflict, an emotionally immature partner may blow up or blame rather than be able to process how their actions contribute to the issue. It may also be difficult to have calm, effective communication when talking about anything of substance."
Since everyone matures at their own pace, you may choose to be understanding and attempt to help your partner see how their actions impact not only themselves but you and your relationship. If you want to stick together, it may help to model emotional maturity for them by expressing positive feelings, as well as pointing out the moments when they’re effectively connecting.
Here are 7 signs of emotional immaturity to look out for in a partner:
1. Unregulated emotions: They are prone to tantrums, hot-tempered, extremely impulsive, and have trouble regulating their emotions when things do not go their way
2. Ineffective communication: They cannot be open, vulnerable, kind, and honest in their communications about problems in the relationship or other areas of life.
3. You Feel Lonely In The Relationship: If your partner is unable to participate in emotional intimacy — by having meaningful conversations it can leave you feeling disconnected and lonely.
4. They make it about them: Everything is about their wants and needs. They will throw in an 'I' at the most inappropriate time and turn the conversation to themselves.
5. They Get Really Angry: emotional immaturity often reveals itself in outbursts of anger. “This is a sign that someone is emotionally immature and is unable to regulate intense emotions.”
6 Defensiveness: You cannot have a decent conversation without them going off you. They’ll deflect all conversation and blame you for being on their case all the time.
7. They take decisions without you: "In a relationship, it’s important to decide things together. However, emotionally immature people frequently make snap decisions without giving them enough time to think about how they may affect you."
