The internet is no stranger to dating trends. From determining a good partner by their willingness to peel an orange to understanding toxic partners, we have seen it all. The latest addition to this is the dating strategy called the ‘cookie jar’ which refers to dating habits involving multiple partners at a time. Learn what is and ways to avoid being placed in a cookie jar below.
What is ‘cookie-jarring’?
Placing somebody in a cookie jar refers to dating them alongside a ‘primary’ partner or person you are interested in. You may reach out to the cookie jar as a backup plan if your primary interest does not work out. This dating habit is called ‘cookie-jarring’. The trend induces the same feelings as reaching for a cookie jar which is characterised as within your zone of comfort, attainable and leaves a good feeling temporarily. Like that, characteristics of those placed in cookie jars may include being easily available, interesting and easy to deceive. Who wants to be somebody’s alternative when they are pouring in 100% effort and commitment?
Darcie Czajkowski, a psychotherapist mentioned in an interview with NBC Today that "These past experiences all can shape a person's beliefs about oneself, such as a belief that 'I'm not good enough' or 'I'm not worthy' that create insecurities about what a person brings to a relationship,". Such insecurities could drive individuals to pursue multiple partners and avoid facing an internal crisis if one relationship does not work out.
Signs you are being ‘cookie-jarred’
While these may seem like problems any relationship could face, it's important to understand any patterns of behaviour which could hint at a possibility of being ‘cookie-jarred’.
- Your partner only makes plans last minute (because the initial plan did not work out).
- Your partner gets defensive quickly if you try to address your feelings.
- Your partner avoids talking about the idea of a long-term relationship frequently.
- Your partner takes long gaps to communicate with you regularly.
How do you deal with being ‘cookie jarred’?
The best thing to do would be to talk away from a relationship that does not meet your emotional needs. However, before pulling the trigger you can attempt to have a direct, honest conversation with your partner and ask them if they are seeing somebody. If the response does not satisfy you or leaves you feeling insecure, you should walk away from that person and prioritise your well-being.
Dating in the modern scenario is tough, but make sure you don’t fall into harmful patterns or situations which negatively impact your emotional health.
ALSO READ: What is Monkey Branching in relationships? 5 ways to protect yourself from being a victim
