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Each developmental milestone (gross/ fine motor, speech and language, cognitive, social and communication) has a range. Each child follows its own trajectory which could be different from the child of his age group. Some start walking at 10 months and some at 14 months. But still, both are normal as both of them fall into the normal range for that milestone. The problem starts when the milestone starts faltering below the designated “normal for age”.
Parents should be aware of the “normal for the age”
Awareness about the developmental milestones of the child is required, till about the age of 5 years, when maximum development takes place in the child. If parents would know about the normal they would definitely be alerted about the deviation. As timely corrective measures have higher chances of near normal correction as compared to late detection, awareness is the key to near normalcy. There are many apps available (eg. Continua Kids) that can give you red flags if there is a deviation from the normal.
Accept the diagnosis
In most of the studies, it is found that it takes 3 months to 2 years for the parents to accept the diagnosis. They just cannot believe that it can happen to their child. They would fight with the questions as to Why my child? Whose fault is it? Why did this all happen? At times, there would be feelings of guilt, regret, fear, aggression which finally give way to acceptance. This period of human emotions fluctuates and vary from months to years. This is natural for parents to do so. This is how humans are. Emotions are what differentiates them from robots. But, yes, they have to be winded early for the good of the child. The earlier the parent accepts the diagnosis, the better the results are.
Be Patient
Raising a child with an intellectual disability requires a lot of patience. Sometimes frustration sets in as to why I am not getting good results when I am putting my best efforts? Why my child is not picking as the other peer age group? What should I do to get him out of this diagnosis at a faster rate? Try to compare your child with himself at his earlier age rather than comparing him with his peer age group. While comparison with himself you could see the progressive journey of your child which would encourage you to put in the effort. Whereas, if you would compare your child with his peer age group, the difference could lead to a lot of frustration and anxiety which is detrimental to the further progress of the child.
Form a support group
Parents need guidance and support for upbringing a special needs child as the trajectory and treatment plan is different for him/her. Forming a support group and sharing common concerns and solutions to a problem helps and supports the parent in the upbringing of the child.
Encourage independence in your child
Most of the time we take extra care of the child once the diagnosis is made. Obviously, extra support is required in the upbringing but that should not interfere with his becoming independent. Teach the child to do the work in ways it is easier for him, rather than totally doing it for him. He should be made to do his work by teaching him techniques that would make it easier and more understandable for him. This will help him become better in the future and not dependent on society.
No short cuts
There are many promotional advertisements that claim to make the child “normal” in a few weeks or months. Examples like stem cells therapy, hyperbaric oxygen therapy are claimed to cure special needs children. They are still in the experimental stages and nothing concrete is established as a modality for treatment. Parents easily fall prey to these commercials as they want their child to be “normal” as soon as possible and they would pay anything for this. Make sure you verify the claim before putting the child under such treatment.
(The author is Dr Puja Grover Kapoor, Paediatric Neurologist & Co-founder of Continua Kids)
(Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not reflect the views of India TV)
