Read Modi, Rahul jokes from the internet

New Delhi: The internet is flooded with jokes relating to BJP leader Narendra Modi and Congress leader Rahul Gandhi with Lok Sabha elections entering its last stage. Here are some of the jokes : God summoned Barack Obama, Chinese President Xi Jinping and Dr Manmohan Singh to reveal that He has decided to end the world, as we know it. “Go and tell this to your people”, he commanded. Obama immediately went live on TV and announced : “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that there is God, and the bad news is that he is ending the world soon.”Xi Jinping told the Chinese people live: “I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that there exists a God, and the worse news is that he is going to end it. So hurry up.”Dr Manmohan Singh went straight to Congress president Sonia Gandhi, and said: “I have good news and better news. The good news is that God thinks I am one of the three most influential people in the world. The better news is that we need not think of worrying about how to stop Modi from coming to power.”Arvind Kejriwal chanting: “Chalata hoon main Wagon R, Ab ki baar, Modi Sarkar”A class teacher asked her students how many of them were Rahul Gandhi fans. All raised their hands except for Johnny. The teacher asked Johnny why , and the boy replied: “Because I'm not a Rahul Gandhi fan.” The teacher asked why. Johnny said, “Because I'm a BJP supporter.” The teacher asked why. He replied, “Well, my mom is a BJP supporter and my Dad is a BJP supporter, so I am a BJP supporter.” The teacher asked, “If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?” With a big smile, Johnny replied, “That would make me a Rahul Gandhi fan.”Geometry class: “Circumference of a circle is 2 pie-r, Ab ki baar, Modi Sarkar”After 9/11 terror attacks, the FBI in the US issues an ad to recruit agents from the general public. Rahul applied for the job. Called for the interview, Rahul Gandhi goes to the FBI office, where an FBI official sks him to sit down. The FBI agent says:“In this test, you be given a picture of a man. I will show you this for 5 seconds and you must describe everything that you remember of this man.”The agent pulls out a picture. It's a picture of the side of a man's face. He puts the picture down.“What do you remember?” said the FBI agent “Well… that man had one eye!” said Rahul Gandhi. “No no no!” the FBI agent yelled frustrated. “Lets try this again”.The FBI agent pulls out the SAME picture of the man. Then puts it away.“Now what do you remember?” he said. Rahul Gandhi thought for a while then said. “Um… that man had one ear!”“No no no! Wrong! I'll give you one last try”The FBI agent pulls out the SAME picture of the man again.“NOW what did you see?” said the FBI agent. “Um… That man wears contacts!” said Rahul Gandhi. “Uh.. What?”The FBI agent pulled out a piece of paper and examined it for 10 minutes.“Wow! He does wear contacts! I never knew that! How did you know?”“Well with one eye and one ear, you can't wear glasses” .Bollywood song: “Dekha Hai Pehli Baar, Saajan Ki ankhon mein pyar, Ab ki baar, Modi Sarkar”Rahul Gandhi and Varun Gandhi went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and Rahul Gandhi bet Varun Gandhi $50 that he wouldn't jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so Rahul Gandhi gave Varun Gandhi $50. Varun Gandhi said, “I can't take this, you're my cousin.” But Rahul Gandhi insisted saying, “No. A bet's a bet.” Then Varun Gandhi said “Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money.” Rahul Gandhi replied “Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!”Rahul Gandhi: Mom Aisa Raha To Aapki Bahu Kaise AayegiSonia Gandhi: Kyon, Kya Hua?Rahul: Har taraf Likha Hai Sonia Ko Bahumat Do.Market rhyme: “Golgappas selling at Dus ki Chaar, Ab ki baar, Modi Sarkar”An engineering student: “Band karo ye exams ka atyachar, daroo pine ko paise nahin hai yaar, Sochta hoon le loon kisise udhar, Kyunki abhi hoon berozgaar, Jab naukri milegi , to saare karze doonga utar, Abki baar, Modi Sarkar”