Dating can be hard, right? So who do you turn to for advice or even a shoulder on those difficult days! Friends are often our designated confidantes; but there’s an overlooked person in your corner that just may be the one to reach out to for advice grounded in experience, understanding and unconditional support - your mum!
With their own rich experience of life, mothers know best - even when it comes to dating advice - and can be a guiding force in their children’s dating journeys.
This Mother’s Day, inspiring Indian mums whose daughters made the first move and met their partners on Bumble share their thoughts on online dating and their insights on how to have an open mind and communicate clearly with your children.
Educate your mum about online dating: Sunidhi and Kushal both weren't strong believers in online dating but as fate would have it they found each other online. Anita, Sunidhi’s mother, was a bit hesitant about online dating to begin with. She mentioned that “There is a learning curve that can only be brought forward by children. With time and better knowledge, I think parents will be more receptive and confident about their kids finding love online. I feel it's important for mothers to instill the basic principles of a relationship and the foundation on which it lies. I have talked about my learnings in life with my daughter which I feel has helped her choose the right person. As Sunidhi grew up, we became better friends and it became easier for her to come and talk to me about her feelings.”
Have faith in your children: After their parents insisted that they find their partners, Aradhana and Vinay joined Bumble. As two people looking for marriage, they instantly hit it off and got married within a year and a half of dating. Her mother Vandana Jagota, who was really excited when she came to know that Aradhana found her one online, shares that “Mums can be allies to their children's dating lives by trusting them. They should have full confidence that the children will do what is right and good for them. Children should consider their mum as a friend and have an open conversation about their dating lives. There should be no hesitation either from the children's or parent's side.”
Create a safe environment: As they say, when it's right, it's right! Sanya also met Utkarsh on Bumble under similar circumstances. Within three months of dating, they were engaged to each other. Shabnam Kundra, Sanya’s mother, says that most parents tend to get nosy with their questions but she has always ensured that her daughter felt comfortable discussing her relationships and heartbreaks ever since she was a teenager. “If you are a mother, who started this practice late, always remember that patience is the key to nurturing any relationship. Take one step at a time, start with spending more time together, going out for lunch and dinners, or talking about any TV series which is trying to break taboos. When the time is right, take the next step, and ask if they are seeing someone. You cannot push them at any cost as it might just delay the process even more.”
Trusting your mother to be your friend and ally could empower you to embark on your dating journey with renewed confidence and vigour. Take this Mother’s Day as the perfect occasion to begin this new chapter of friendship that you will cherish for life.
