Being a parent is not easy. It is a full-time job and apart from taking care of the children, our folks put in a lot of effort to make us feel that they are around for us no matter what may come up. However, some topics unknowingly become taboo in our households, and kids often refrain from having discussions that may be awkward. Subjects like sex, sexuality, mental health, alcohol, divorce, relationships are often hard to converse about with the parents as you may feel shy to bring them up or do not know the right manner and tone for the discussion. If this continues to happen, a child may seek guidance outside, or worse, the anxiety may just keep piling up.
Here are simple tips to keep in mind for children on how to bring up discussions on difficult topics in front of our elders.
Gauge their mood
It is important to gauge the mood of a parent before bringing up a discussion. Working parents may not have the right mindset for a conversation at all times. So look for cues before you touch upon a sensitive subject with them. If you realise that they are in a serious mood try to cheer them up and then bring up the subject.
Do not hide your emotions
It is natural to feel embarrassed or be nervous. So do not try to hide your emotions when you are about to have a conversation. Feel natural in your mental state and what you are experiencing about the matter. Sometimes you may be unclear in expressing yourself or even while talking if you are struggling to come to terms with how you feel.
The right attitude
Having the right attitude is important. Do not feel discouraged if your discussion is turned down or the outcome is not desirable to you. Do not get angry with your parents either. Going into a discussion with an open mind will help you bring up the topic at a later time as well. Understand the parents' perspective as well and do not be overbearing, impulsive or overdemanding.
The real problem
Going around the topic will not help you. So instead discuss the real deal with your folks and make them understand what you desire. Sometimes they may not have the time to cater to your needs and things may just be left unsaid. Define the real problem or ask them to define it for you. Honesty is the prime factor here.
Know what you seek
Do you want support or advice from your parents or just want them to hear you out. Know this before you begin a discussion.
Remember, you are still their child
Whatever may be the outcome of the conversation you have been waiting to have with your parents, remember that you are still their child and they love you no matter what. Do not bear grudges or let this affect your relationship with them. Else, next time you need them for real, asking for help may not be as easy.
