Los Angeles, May 5: Actress Zoe Saldana is not over her father's death and says whenever she hears the word "daddy", it is like a knife to her heart.
The 34-year-old actress lost her father Aridio Saldana in a car crash, when she was nine-year old.
"I know the older I get, I romanticise him more and more, but he was very beautiful and very disciplined. It was hard, since I was nine I've never been able to say 'dad'," contactmusic.com quoted the actress as saying.
She added: "And I've had a stepfather since I was very young who I adore and he knows how much we love him. But he's not my dad. So when I hear little people say, 'Daddy', it's always like a f***ing knife in your heart."
After the accident, her mother, Asalia Saldana, moved with her and her two sisters to Dominican Republic, which is her father's birthplace.
Zoe said: "My mum knew there wasn't going to be a protector, a big bear in our lives. She needed to raise us as the mum and dad - and she did."
She added: "She raised three women that are very male. My mind is very mechanical. When stress rises, I don't start spinning. Women like to cry, to 'whip the s**t' as we say in Spanish. Like, why are you running around like a headless chicken? Sit down, shut up and think. Men are like that. A lot of them - not every one. My mum did not ever condition us to believe that we were half without a man."
